Typical Kitsune Behavior
by voicelikeabell
Summary: Hiei and I decide to make a documentry on a day in the life of a youko! So we stalk Kurama and Katelyn, tape what they do, and show the world just what a kitsune does when no one is around, and what they are thinking!
1. Chapter 1

HAPPY PIE DAY EVERYONE!!! YAY!! (actually its tomorrow, but I wanted to publish this now) *sees audiences blank stares* you know! PIE DAY! ^_^.... Are you telling me you don't know what pie day is!?! *everyone nods* GASP! Well, guess I'll have to explain;  
  
Today is March 14. The third month, the 14th day, just like the number pie, 3.14! see? PIE DAY! THE DAY WHERE WE ALL EAT PIE!!! Actually we're supposed to appreciate math and practice finding the circumference of a circle....BUT EATING REAL PIE IS BETTER!!!!  
  
Hehe, I'll get back to the main point now ^^;; A few days (weeks?) ago I had a brilliant idea during school when I said something to my friend Katelyn aka Kitsune. She did something silly, and I said ahhh typical kitsune behavior....and then we were like OMG! (But not in a squeaky, high pitched voice) I COULD MAKE THAT INTO A FIC! SO I DID!! ^__^ Me and Hiei are show hosts, and in this weeks episode we will be trailing.......nah I'll make you find out for your self!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Diddly squat cept myself and the plot!  
  
Typical Kitsune Behavior  
  
Jessica: *Australian accent* Ello folks! Jess Corwin here in Tokyo Japan, ready to bring you another exciting episode of "Jessica & Hiei's animal adventures"! Today we have a real treat for you; we've traveled half way round the world just to show you the rare, amazing, beautiful, Youko! Yes you heard right! We will be spending today's episode hunting down a Youko!  
  
Hiei: You make it seem like we're some sort of poacher or something! Hn....stupid human....  
  
Jessica: SHUT UP HIEI! *clears throat* where was I? Oh yes, we will be showing you the day in the life of a Youko, so hold on to your hats, it's gonna be a wild ride!  
  
Hiei: DUN DUN DUN!  
  
Jessica: Oh, I would also like to thank are camera man, Yusuke, for helping us today! Arigato Yusuke-chan!  
  
Yusuke: Yea yea, lets get this over with...  
  
Jessica: oooh some one's grumpy!  
  
Yusuke: HN!  
  
Hiei: HEY THAT'S MY LINE!  
  
Jessica: ^^;; lets be on are way shall we.....  
  
*the 3 walk through the streets of Tokyo, occasionally stopping for sweet snow or ramen, because Yusuke and Hiei can't CONTROL THEIR URGES!*  
  
Jessica: *whispering* we must be vewy vewy quiet, we're hunting wabbits!  
  
Yusuke: I thought we were looking for Kurama?  
  
Hiei: HUNTING IS ILLEGAL! I WONT STAND FOR THIS!  
  
Jessica: I said SHHH! DO YOU WANT THEM TO HEAR US!?!  
  
Hiei: Who's 'us'? And why the hell are we sitting in this tree in this gay ass park!?  
  
Yusuke: Hey man, you SLEEP in this gay ass park  
  
Hiei: No! I sleep in Kurama's ro-...... It's non of your business where I sleep!  
  
Jessica: *rolls eyes* we're on this tree because I heard that Kurama and Katelyn we're coming though this park on their date, so we're going to watch them!  
  
Yusuke: Doesn't that make us stalkers?  
  
Hiei: No! we're groupies! ^__^  
  
Yusuke: Same difference...  
  
Jessica: *yelling* NO! WE'RE SHOW HOSTS TRYING TO BUY THE WORLD WITH THE PROFITS AFTER THIS EPISODE!  
  
Hiei/Yusuke: SHHH! HERE THEY COME!!  
  
*Kurama and Katelyn are walking through the park, hand in hand, all lovey dovey like*  
  
Katelyn: ahh Kuro-chan it's such a beautiful day!  
  
Kurama: Yes I agree, it's just radiant!  
  
Jessica: *gags*  
  
Katelyn: Do you hear that?  
  
Kurama: No, what?  
  
Katelyn: I heard gagging...and it sounded JUST LIKE JESSICA!!  
  
Kurama: that's just a little assumptions, don't you think?  
  
Katelyn: No! I can tell! And she's in.....THAT TREE! *Points to the tree where Jessica, Hiei, and Yusuke are eavesdropping*  
  
Jessica: *facing camera and whispering* first thing you should know about a Youko, they have incredible hearing!  
  
Kurama: Even if it is her, lets just ignore it and enjoy are date *Moves closer to Katelyn and is about to hug her, when she moves to the side and he falls to the ground*  
  
Katelyn: No. If we do, something bad is bound to happen! *marches over to tree* I KNOW YOUR UP THERE JESSICA!  
  
Jessica: Maybe if we act like I'm not here, she'll give up....  
  
Katelyn: Jessica you baka, I heard that!  
  
Jessica: -__- so much for my idea  
  
Katelyn: Don't make me go all kung foo on this tree Jess! Cause you know I will! HIYA! *kicks tree*  
  
Tree: OWIE!  
  
Jessica: O_O!? did the tree just talk....?  
  
Yusuke: I think so....  
  
Hiei: ABANDON TREE!!!! *jumps out of tree, which is rather tall*  
  
Jessica: Right behind you! *jumps out of tree and lands on but* ahhh thank goodness I had this soft, squishy Hiei to break my fall! With out him, I could have fractured my but bone! (Very painful) thanks so much Hiei-chan! Hiei; only available in Japan *winks up at Yusuke and the camera*  
  
Kurama: Jessica, what are you doing here?  
  
Yusuke: We're hunting youko's!!  
  
Hiei: WE'RE NOT HUNTING GOSH DARNIT! We're merely stalking them....I mean we're your groupies! *laughs nervously*  
  
Jessica: *Aussie accent is back* we're doing an episode on the life of a Youko!  
  
Katelyn: But we're not youko's anymore! Our souls have resided in human bodies, so I guess you're out of luck! ^_^  
  
Jessica: ahh, but you still ACT like kitsunes! You still have the traits of one!  
  
Katelyn: No we don't!  
  
Jessica: *sighs* LOOK BEHIND YOU!! A SHINY SPOON!!!  
  
Katelyn: WHERE!?!? MY SHINY!!!!! *searches frantically*  
  
Jessica: I told you so.....  
  
Kurama: *looking around still* I don't see any spoon, do you Katelyn?  
  
Katelyn: *sobs* NO!  
  
Kurama: oh......WANNA GO GET SOME PIE!?  
  
Katelyn: H-E DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS YEAH!  
  
Jessica: *talking to camera* As you can see, no matter where a Youko is, even if they are in a human body, they are STILL foxes at heart! Notice how they love shiny things, get over things quickly, and have a mad obsession for pie!  
  
Katelyn: DO NOT! *shoving pie into mouth*  
  
Kurama: yea *takes bite of pie* we hate *another bite* pie!  
  
Hiei: sure you do  
  
Katelyn: Yummm PUMPKIN PIE!  
  
Kurama: APPLE PIE!  
  
Hiei: CHOCOLATE CREAM PIE!  
  
Yusuke: COW PIE!  
  
Katelyn: LEMON MARANG PIE!  
  
Kurama: BLUEBERRY PIE!  
  
Hiei: CHERRY PIE!  
  
Yusuke: POSSUM PIE!  
  
Jessica: This is ridicules......  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
^_^;; Ok this was a lil ooc, but I can't help my self *sigh* I didn't really like this chapter.....hope some of you did! At least 8 reviews will get ya another chapter!! And don't forget, tomorrow is pie day! SO ENOY YOUR PIE!!  
  
Yusuke: COW PIE!!  
  
Jessica: How bout chocolate?  
  
Love always,  
  
~fire goddess5 


	2. Chapter 2

Even though I didn't get as many reviews as I wanted, I have an urge to update, so enjoy the next chapter!!!  
  
Thanks for reviewing super-kitsune, TigerBloodFox, hieiandkuramalover, Kurama + hiei's girl, SilverYouko300, thatpervertmiroku, And firedragongirl! Love you guys!!! 33  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own it, I own my self and Katelyn owns her self, that's all. OH! And the plot is mine!!  
  
Chapter 2:  
  
Jessica: This is ridicules......  
  
Katelyn: No it's not! But that talking tree over there is....  
  
Tree: ^__^ yep I am kinda silly, aren't I?  
  
Kurama: o_o yea just a little....  
  
Jessica: Ok then! Lets ignore the stupid tree and get back to the show!  
  
Tree: I'm not stupid! *Hits Jessica with Branch* MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Yusuke: Wtf mate! And evil tree?  
  
Jessica: *cries* AN EVIL TREE THAT GAVE ME A SPLINTER!! Owww....  
  
Hiei: *sarcastic* aww poor baby  
  
Jessica: can it Hiei!  
  
Kurama: Well, as fun as this has been, I think Katelyn and I shall be going now  
  
Jessica: But you can't! What about my show!?  
  
Kurama: screw your show! I WANNA GO TO THE ZOO!  
  
Katelyn: YES! LET'S GO TO THE ZOO!  
  
Hiei: Oh my God! Jessica! Can we go pet the ducks!?!  
  
Jessica: NO WE CAN NOT PET THE DUCKS! DON'T YOU WANNA TAKE OVER THE WORLD!?  
  
Hiei: ......Only if when I'm king I can have a pet duck by my side!  
  
Jessica: *sigh* fine Hiei, you may have a duck if that is what you wish...  
  
Yusuke: damn this is so screwed up  
  
*Kurama and Katelyn tiptoeing away.....*  
  
Jessica: Oh no you don't! COME BACK HERE! Kurama: RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!  
  
Jessica: *whips out microphone* notice how the Youko has strong, long legs, and is a very fast runner! Now if they were in their fox form, we would really see some speed!  
  
Yusuke: Uh Jessica? Their getting away!  
  
Jessica: .......CURSES!!  
  
Hiei: Hn. Baka...  
  
Jessica: TALLY HO BOYS! We got work to do!!!  
  
*Inside the city zoo with Kurama and Katelyn*  
  
Katelyn: OOH! Kurama! Look at the zebra!  
  
Kurama: that's a hippo Katelyn.....  
  
Katelyn: same difference!!  
  
Kurama: no, no not really ^^;;  
  
Katelyn: aww look at the teddy bears!  
  
Bears: grrrrr  
  
Kurama: O_O big bears....  
  
Bears: grrrr  
  
Kurama: Nice bears...  
  
Bears: GRRR!  
  
Kurama: TIME TO GO KIT! *grabs her hand and runs away*  
  
Katelyn: You always spoil my fun -__- all I wanted to do was pet the teddy grams!  
  
Kurama: -__-  
  
Katelyn: Come on Kura-chan! Lets go look around some more!  
  
Kurama: But what If Jessica finds us? Who KNOWS what evil she might inflict on us! JUST THINKING ABOUT IT MAKES ME FRIGHTENED!!!!!!  
  
Katelyn: Kurama your Adam's apple is quivering  
  
Kurama: .....STOP PICKING ON ME!!! HN!  
  
Hiei: THAT'S MY WORD!  
  
Yusuke: NO THAT'S MY WORD!  
  
Kurama: 0_0 where'd you two come from?!  
  
Jessica: From behind the teddy grams cage!  
  
Bears: grrr  
  
Kurama: o_o mommy  
  
Katelyn: *drooling* ooooh! SHINY LOCK ON THE CAGE!!!  
  
Kurama: SHINY!? WHERE!?!  
  
Katelyn: right here! *holds up broken lock*  
  
Jessica: Kit......where'd you get that lock?  
  
Katelyn: it was on this cage holding in the tigers!!  
  
All: O_O NANI!?!  
  
*tigers start leaving their cage and are advancing foward*  
  
Tigers: grrrr  
  
Yusuke: KATELYN WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?!? THAT LOCK WAS HOLDING IN THOSE WILD ANIMALS FROM DEVOURING US!  
  
Jessica: *whips out microphone* that's just it Yusuke! She WASN'T'T thinking! Hiei-kun, bring out the charts!  
  
Hiei: hn *sets out a large diagram showing a fox demon with a very small sized brain in the center of the head* don't call me that!  
  
Jessica: Sure thing Hiei-chan! Ok now, as you can see the Kitsune's brain is not exactly 'small', but it can be when shiny objects are evolved. The shininess, or 'luster' if u want to use a scientific term, causes the foxes brain to be distracted, therefore making them do silly, if not stupid things!!!  
  
Katelyn: *sob* I'm not stupid!!! I just......was distracted!!!  
  
Jessica: EXACTLY!  
  
Katelyn: Well.....I can fix this!!!  
  
Yusuke: I hope you can......because that tiger is giving me a very hungry look....  
  
Tiger: GRRR!!!!!!!  
  
Yusuke: O_O I'm scurredd  
  
Hiei: don't be Yusuke! Just grown back! *walks up to one practically huge tiger* grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!  
  
Tiger: GRRR!!!!!!  
  
Hiei: RAWR!!!!  
  
Jessica: COME ON HIEI, WE GOTTA GET OUTA HERE! *pulls him away by his white scarf*  
  
Hiei: but I was scaring him!!  
  
*frantic people go running by screaming in fear because of the tigers*  
  
Katelyn: Noooo!! We cannt leave now! I have to fix this!  
  
Kurama: and how are you gonna do that!  
  
Katelyn: *holds up another shiny lock* The lions shall help us! They can beat those mean old tigers any day!  
  
Jessica: KIT THAT'S JUST GONNA MAKE THINGS WORSE!!!  
  
Kurama: Oh.....you think so? *twirls thumbs nervously*  
  
Jessica: Kurama.......what exactly did you do??  
  
Kurama: *mumbling* I let out the elephants  
  
Jessica: NANI!!?!  
  
Hiei: YAY! MY TURN! *melts a lock off a cage* RUN NY PENGUIN FRIENDS! RUN AND BE FREEEEEE!!!!  
  
Yusuke: AND THE BUNNIES!!! DON'T FORGET OUR FUZZY FOOTED FRIENDS!!!  
  
Jessica: *slaps Yusuke in head* BAKA! NOW WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?!  
  
Kurama: .....how bout we run away?  
  
*animals circling them, growling and roaring and chirping and......whatever sounds rabbits make*  
  
Hiei: RUN AWAAAAYYYY!!!!! FIRE DEMONS AND WOMEN FIRST!!!!!!!!  
  
Jessica: *sigh* the man I love is a chicken V_V 


	3. Chapter 3

Oooooh I'm a bad person =( I seriously am. I haven't updated this fic in FIVE WHOLE MONTHS!!! I'm ashamed... and I don't even have an excuse really! Except that I'm lazy, and have writers block. Really, I have sat down and tried very hard to write, but everything I come up with is crap. My best friends cam over today and we were reading this story over, and I decided it was high time I get off my butt and UPDATE!!! Please forgive the delay, here's the next chapter of Typical Kitsune Behavior.

**Disclaimer::** I don't own it, And neither do you. -- sucks to be us, doesn't it?

Ok folks, for some freaky reason I cant use the little starry thing to indicate an action, so from now on, _italic's_ will have to suffice.

Typical Kitsune Behavior

Kurama: Ahh my darling, what a wonderful afternoon this is! Don't you agree?

Katelyn: Yes, indeed it is. And what a lovely restaurant this is!!

_(The two are sitting in a fancy smancy restaurant, at a table in the corner, dining on...cheese...and talking)_

Kurama: I'm glad you like it!

Katelyn: I like the cheese!!

Kurama: Oh my God me too!!

Katelyn: Oh my God no way!!!

Kurama: Yes way!

Katelyn: No way!!

Kurama: Yes wa-

Mysterious femal voice: OH FOR CRIPES SAKE JUST SHUT UP!

Katelyn: ...what was that?

Kurama: I hope it's just the wind....

Mysterious voice: _(buzzing noise)_ wrong!!!

Kurama:......Oh no.

Mysterious voice: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!

_(A loud crash is heard and out of no where, and elephant appears! And not just any elephant, a PINK elephant!! THAT WALKED RIGHT THROUGH THE LARGE GLASS WINDOW OF THE REASTURANT! But that's not what made it so terrifying, oh no. The scary part was that Jessica was riding on it' back, smiling evilly, Hiei also on the elephant, clutching Jessica's waist, as to not fall off.)_

Jessica: WE'RE BAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCK!!!

Katelyn: WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE US ALONE DAMMIT!?! WE'RE ON A DATE!!!

Jessica: Oooooo Kit said a curse!!

Hiei: Wow.

Katelyn: What? No I didn't!

Jessica: Yes you did! You said DAMMIT!

Katelyn: O.O No way. Kurama sweetie, did I really?

Kurama: Afraid so kit!

Katelyn: Your suppose to say no and be on my side... -.-

Kurama: But you did say it! I can't lie!

Katelyn: Yes you can!!

Kurama: No I can't! One of the reasons girls love me is because I'm honest! If I was a liar I wouldn't be attacked by mobs of fan girls anymore!

Katelyn: And that is bad how?

Kurama: I like to love and be loved by those who love me!!

Katelyn: You get all the love you need from me!

Kurama: Are you saying you don't love me anymore!?!?!? =O

Katelyn: Wha? I didn't say that!

Kurama: sob yes you did! You HATE me!!!! ='(

Katelyn: Kurama, I assure you that you are my one and only love

Kurama: YAY! I LOVE YOU TOO!

Jessica: =/ mumbling for Gods sake this is pathetic....ROLE CAMERA!!

Hiei: Hey Jessica, where is the camera any way?

Jessica: It's on the ass.

Hiei: O.o pardon?

Jessica: Yusuke has it, and he's riding my ass.

Hiei: WHAT!?!?! O.O

Jessica: What? He's riding my ass? So what? Why do you care?

Hiei: _(tears in eyes)_ B-b-but what about me? Don't you love m-me anymore?

Jessica: Of course I love you!

Hiei: THEN WHY IS YUSUKE RIDING YOUR ASS AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!?!?

Jessica: SO WHAT I NEED YOUR PERMISSION NOW??!!

Hiei: WELL I HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW DAMMIT!

Yusuke: Oi, shut up dude. You're giving me a head ache......

Hiei: _(turns around and jaw falls)_

Jessica: YAY_!( hops off elephant and walks over to where Yusuke is sitting on a donkey holding a camera)_ There's my good and faithful donkey!!!

Hiei: _(dumstruck) _Since when do you have a donkey....?

Jessica: Since I let him out of his cage at the zoo and claimed him as my own!

All: o.O

Jessica: I named him Roger!!!!

All: -.-

Yusuke: Riiiight...can we get back to the show now?


End file.
